“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown

Lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect. Empathy without boundaries is self-destruction. You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no. Clear and healthy boundaries are critical to living your vision and creating a fulfilling life. Personal boundaries are designed to protect and honor important parts of our lives. They are created to clarify what are acceptable and unacceptable behaviors from others.

Just as we have property we protect with physical boundaries, there are several key areas of our lives that should be protected by personal boundaries: your time, emotions, energy and personal values.

• Time: Time is an important and valuable asset. We often feel we never have enough time to focus on what’s really important in our lives, yet time is often what we least protect though effective boundaries.
• Emotions: Your emotions are where your love and caring come from, this should be well protected. Often, people in our lives may say or do hurtful things (often unintentionally) that can damage our emotions and hearts.
• Energy: Your energy is the wellspring from which you function. This energy can come from many sources; your “alone time”, your inner peace, activities that invigorate you, etc. When others do or say things that rob you of this energy (such as invade your privacy, make unreasonable demands, or create chaos), you are less likely to function effectively.
• Personal Values: Anything in your life that is important to you such as your personal values, needs, family, etc., can be areas that benefit from effective boundaries.

When setting boundaries, do it clearly, firmly, and respectfully. Remember that you are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the boundary you are setting. You are only responsible for communicating your boundary respectfully. If it upset them, it doesn’t meant you shouldn’t have set the boundary.